Self-Care is Self-Love

Every time I hear some one  use negative language to refer to their body or body parts, it hurts my heart. Women especially tend to use very negative and quite frankly hurtful words to refer to their bodies or body parts when they are trying to improve on it. Trying to improve your body from a negative point of view may be the reason why you are always giving up. Approaching self-improvement from a place of self-hate is a losing proposition.

I am on a mission to try to offer a different perspective to women and most especially women who have carried a pregnancy and birthed children. Have you ever stopped for one minute to consider what your body had to put up with to carry and bring to the world a new human being? I am always in complete awe. As a mother of three including twins, I sometimes look at my midsection and just want to kiss it with immense gratitude. I have all the loose skin. All the stretch marks. Everything that I could stand in the mirror and grab and shake and hate. But when I look in the mirror and see the diastasis recti (abdominal separation as a result of my pregnancy), I remind myself of why I have that (blessings of being a mom) and from that place of self-love, I ask myself what I can do to appreciate this core. My answer is the fuel that I use to endure the tough Jillian Michaels core workouts. My answer is what I use to hold that 5 minute planks even when I think I am going to die. My answer is why I can look at the plantain chips and say “no thanks!”. This daily practice is WHY I can sustain a fitness lifestyle.

You cannot sustain a self-improvement project from a place of self-loathing, self-hate or as a punishment. You simply will not go far. Sooner or later you will lose your motivation and that is always the beginning of the end. The change you are seeking to make will start to feel like a chore. Nobody likes to do chores.

I encourage you to practice a more useful and positive perspective. Focus on why you deserve this change. Focus on why it is great for you. Focus on the benefits you stand to gain. With a consistent practice of focusing on the positive, you are more likely to sustain the change you are trying to make.

As always let me know your thoughts.

Coach Yaje

5 thoughts on “Self-Care is Self-Love”

  1. Well said sis. Every woman especially baby mamas need to take this approach when dealing with body image. We leave in a society of body shaming and is sending women over the edge. Self hate holds many people back from taking care of themselves properly.

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